[UA] Googlizing the Matter of Britain

[Alex Duncan]

> Goddamn, there's some juicy bits in there.  Let's see...  King Arthur was 
> never actually conceived by Uther Pendragon; he was a golem constructed 
> from the ectoplasm of dead ghosts to lead the people of England in their 
> hour of direst need.  Furthermore, his maker (no longer known to us by 
> name) sacrificed himself to give Arthur the spark of life.  Arthur was 
> alive when he was taken to Avalon, but one of the women betrayed him and 
> slew him as she tended to his wounds.
> 
> Arthur's ghost remains trapped in the ether, but his body is preserved at 
> the bottom of a pot of gravy that a cult of cannibalistic bakers in 
> Glastonbury has kept simmering for the last 1600 years; they just keep 
> adding stuff to the mix when it gets low, and they eat pies made with the 
> gravy to supernaturally extend their lives.  Arthur will only return once 
> the Stone of Scone and the Blarney Stone are reunited, and a virgin is 
> deflowered in a Tantric ritual thereon.  But that will happen soon...
> 

Fascinating!  But where's Merlin in all this?

merlin is expanding it
merlin is not
merlin is the wiz
merlin is down
merlin is more or less up
merlin is highly expressed in human fibroblasts and linked to the plasma
   membrane
merlin is just the right size to fit in your pocket or purse
merlin is 5' 10'' merlin fights as well with either hand merlin has
   chosen to figth without body armor merlin stands besides a long spear
   melin will use the
merlin is ambitious
merlin is recruiting nurses from the returnees as it begins to treat
   burns
merlin is once again ready for the open ocean with a full complement of
   sails and safety equipment of category 1 standard
merlin is at the lowest point of his life that he can remember
merlin is a genuine hermaphrodite abyssinian cat
merlin is proud to be a world
merlin is composed of two component parts

Jesus H Christ... Merlin is THE FREAK!
Merlin, who was known to Arthur later in his reign as Nimue, eventually
decided to remove herself from the world to await Arthur's return.  He
did this by breaking herself down into molecules and insinuating himself
into the human proteome (or catalogue of proteins, as the genome is the
catalogue of genes).  She didn't forsee that half of the family tree
bearing his dissolved body down through the ages would emigrate to
America, so when the time finally arrived in this century for her to be
reincarnated, he was split in two-- a boy born in Chicago and a girl in
Bristol.  Without the totality of their shared memory, they were
ignorant of their true origin, though they were both possessed of great
instinctual magick power.  Fate drew them together, and set them at
odds, culminating in their performance of Ritual of Union to determine
once and for all which of them would be in charge of their mutual
destiny.  But their wills were too strong and too evenly matched, and
they joined together as a Fused!  With their combined knowledge of
Epideromancy and the path of the Mystic Androgyne, and the major charges
derived from severing all their redundant limbs, they managed to restore
themselves into an outwardly passable semblance of sanity and coherence.
Within, however, turmoil reigns.  Reunion has allowed them to partially
retrieve their memory of their original life as Merlin/Nimue, but they
recall only vague outlines of the task they were to perform upon
resurfacing.  They know they will probably have to do something about
healing and restoring Arthur, if they can even ever find him, and that
this will require more than mundane medical skill.  They also think that
Arthur might be coming back through the House as a renounced Archetype,
so they have infiltrated agents into the House of Renunciation wherever
the opportunity has presented itself, to watch for Arthur and to try to
recruit anyone they find coming through with healing powers.  Their most
ambitious project is the creation of an actual Otherspace-- or gate to
an existing otherspace-- within their body, to use as a secure base of
operations for their followers.


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