[UA] Burning Bright

[Tim Bisaillon]

>From: Royal Minister of Stuff <yokeltania at yahoo.com>
>--- Tim Bisaillon <knightbane at hotmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > My Question is: Has anyone else felt this way?
> >
>
>Tim, I knew you were a man after my own heart.

{Tim hides the steak knifes behind his back).

>The drug analogy too often sits true with me.  I ran
>into an old friend from high school, the other day.
>
>He's pounding his way up the corporate ladder while I
>wallow in yet another entry-level position I have no
>intention of seeing all the way through.  He seems
>every bit the well-adjusted, happy salesman and I
>seemed like little more than a street hustler.

>For some people, gaming is just a hobby, something
>they can do in addition to their own career, family or
>whatever.  Sometimes, I'm afraid I let it take center
>stage.
>
>This is my problem, but not one I'm willing to deal
>with.  I've tried to drop gaming and have become even
>more bitter and nasty than without it.  I've given
>away most of my books (except a few my wife had
>secretly hidden in one of her trunks) at one time or
>another, but I keep falling off the wagon.

Well, for me, gaming is a part of my life and has been for some 23 odd years 
now and to quit this. Well, that would be like abandoning a part of the 
family. My games sit on a shelf, it dominates the dining room area, on 
display for all too see. My wife doesn't mind at all, she doesn't understand 
it for one bit, but she has her hobbies and I have mine.


>The problem is, I don't really know if gaming, itself,
>is like a drug.  If it is, I seem to be one of the few
>adult addicts.  I get genuine pleasure from many
>games, but those long stretches of loneliness seem to
>come more and more often.

I know, that is one reason why i hate to take a break. After alienating the 
players, they will move on and create or join up with a new group. Though, 
it seems throughout the years some players will move on, while some new 
faces join in. My home has become sort of a game grand central. Players walk 
in and out of her thorughout the week at various hours.

>I, too, think that, perhaps, actually publishing a
>game or getting an article written might cure me of my
>funk, but I can't seem to think of anything that
>hasn't been done six ways to sunday.
>
>Unfortunately, I think up all sorts of stuff that
>would be suitable for White Wolf, but that's because I
>think White Wolf is crap.  Also, I would never submit
>to any company with writer's guidelines like that.
>Every time I read them, I want to find that snotty
>Weick guy and chicken out just before I punch him in
>the snout.

Sounds like a little rage building up here. I really don't care if I do get 
published or not. Too me gaming is is what gaming does. I play because I 
enjoy it... enjoy so much that I burn myself out. Though, time to let the 
battery of ideas recharge and take shape.

>So, I guess, rage is my real problem.
>
>I recently got mad at everyone in my gaming group and
>dropped out of a few sessions.  WHAM! The group
>disintegrated.
>
>At first I thought it was me, that they needed my
>guidance to be there.  Then I thought, no way am I
>that important.  They started out hating eachother and
>just needed to drift apart.  Sometimes groups do that.

I know what you mean. I've been in situations like that before, and that is 
why I have three gaming groups instead of two. One of my players designated 
himself leader, telling everyone what to do and how to do it. That things 
should be done his way or not at all... some players butt heads, so you have 
to break it down to whose, comfortable with who. And, sometimes this does 
not work as well.

>There's no reason not to take a little break.  But if
>you feel like you've still got that gaming twinge
>(like I enevitably do after a week or so), try going
>into other people's games, especially ones folks in
>your area are complaining "suck" and pumping up the
>fun level.
>
>Try and encourage everyone to have a chance to do
>their best, to play at their best, even if they seem
>like they've played Vampire one too many times.  Only
>do this, however, if you're really jonesin' for a
>game.
>
>If you can quit the habit, move on and be free.  Start
>your life over again with my blessings, man.

I didn't say I was kicking the gaming habit. All I wantd is some me time. 
Time to get the creative juices to refill, and to create a new wonderous set 
of realms for the players to explore.

Over the past few days I have been reflecting back on gaming sessions, and 
their is one campaign that I look upon which makes me glad that I am a DM. 
For several sessions, a sort of magic was invoked and all the players were 
united in though, thery and imagination. This campaign, struck a high the 
first session, and when the players didn't think it could be topped, the 
next session would blow them away.

As a GM it pays to see the work you poured into a campaign, enlighten, 
sadden and mystify your players. Too me this is priceless.

tjb

"I am the lizard king... I can do anything."
                              - Jim Morrison


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