[UA] Burning Bright

[Royal Minister of Stuff]

--- Tim Bisaillon <knightbane at hotmail.com> wrote:
> 
> My Question is: Has anyone else felt this way?
> 

Tim, I knew you were a man after my own heart.

The drug analogy too often sits true with me.  I ran
into an old friend from high school, the other day.

He's pounding his way up the corporate ladder while I
wallow in yet another entry-level position I have no
intention of seeing all the way through.  He seems
every bit the well-adjusted, happy salesman and I
seemed like little more than a street hustler.

For some people, gaming is just a hobby, something
they can do in addition to their own career, family or
whatever.  Sometimes, I'm afraid I let it take center
stage.

This is my problem, but not one I'm willing to deal
with.  I've tried to drop gaming and have become even
more bitter and nasty than without it.  I've given
away most of my books (except a few my wife had
secretly hidden in one of her trunks) at one time or
another, but I keep falling off the wagon.

The problem is, I don't really know if gaming, itself,
is like a drug.  If it is, I seem to be one of the few
adult addicts.  I get genuine pleasure from many
games, but those long stretches of loneliness seem to
come more and more often.

I, too, think that, perhaps, actually publishing a
game or getting an article written might cure me of my
funk, but I can't seem to think of anything that
hasn't been done six ways to sunday.

Unfortunately, I think up all sorts of stuff that
would be suitable for White Wolf, but that's because I
think White Wolf is crap.  Also, I would never submit
to any company with writer's guidelines like that. 
Every time I read them, I want to find that snotty
Weick guy and chicken out just before I punch him in
the snout.

So, I guess, rage is my real problem.

I recently got mad at everyone in my gaming group and
dropped out of a few sessions.  WHAM! The group
disintegrated.

At first I thought it was me, that they needed my
guidance to be there.  Then I thought, no way am I
that important.  They started out hating eachother and
just needed to drift apart.  Sometimes groups do that.

There's no reason not to take a little break.  But if
you feel like you've still got that gaming twinge
(like I enevitably do after a week or so), try going
into other people's games, especially ones folks in
your area are complaining "suck" and pumping up the
fun level.  

Try and encourage everyone to have a chance to do
their best, to play at their best, even if they seem
like they've played Vampire one too many times.  Only
do this, however, if you're really jonesin' for a
game.

If you can quit the habit, move on and be free.  Start
your life over again with my blessings, man.

=====
-- Rp Bowman, Royal Minister of Stuff
The Electronic Nation of Yokeltania:
http://www.geocities.com/yokeltania/

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