[UA] Australia Strikes Again

[Timothy Toner]

C'mon, you upside down bastards!  We're counting on you to report faithfully
all the high weirdness lurking about.  I had to read in that bastion of
journalistic integrity, Stuff Magazine, the following:

BANK OFFERS LOW-INTERST GNOME

On August 1, 2000, employees of the Reserve Bank building in Sydney,
Australia, were greeted by 96 garden gnomes superglued to their office's
steps.  "It's not something that you normally find in the city," said a
perceptive government spokesperson.

Great Googooly Moogoolies!  An event so twisted, so half-baked, so insanely
cool happens, and nary a squeek from Our Men Down Under?  Hang your heads in
shame, boyos.

ObUA:  Okay, this is relatively simple.  The Reserve Bank and the gnomes tie
in together nicely as a veiled attack against the Gnomes of Zurich, from
Illuminati fame.  The number 96 may refer to the last Summer Games, held in
1996, suggesting that they would have been held in Sydney, if not for the
not-so-tender machinations of the Plutomancers who run the nation.  "We know
your game," the gnomes mutely scream, "and we're not going to be moved!"
What may be more critical would be the position of the gnomes on the steps,
as well as their orientation.  For all we know, this could be the gnomish
qibla, as they pay their reverence to the Undergnome, the dark lord of pain,
currently residing on a lawn in San Modesto, CA.


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