[UA] Blair Witch 2

[Steve Dustin]

>
> > It's a well-known axiom in filmic studies that no film yet
> > produced in the history of cinema could not have been
> > improved with Jackie Chan and/or a monkey.
>
>hence most movie critics claiming Citizen Kane to be the greatest film ever
>made, chiefly due to the famous scene featuring Jackie Chan dressed up as a
>monkey
>
>

Which is why, all hope is lost that Hollywood will ever make quite a 
masterpiece again.  I am talking about, of course, the infamous *no monkey* 
clause in all of Jackie Chan's Hollywood contracts.

As I speak though, an assortment of big Hollywood conglomerates, prompted by 
the outcries of a deprived movie-going monkey-wanting audience, is currently 
involved in litigation with Mr. Chan, citing that such a clause is 
unconstitutional, fascist, and *blight upon the artistic and general 
societial health of America, if not the world*.  Mr. Chan wasn't available 
for comment.

We wait on the edge of our seats, breathless.

Steve Dustin
yetiseti at hotmail.com



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