The Official Television Newsmagazine of UA...

[Timothy Toner]

First let me say, tonight has been awfully...queer.  I was flipping thru the
cable channels, and came upon Blade being shown uncut and unedited...on the
local Christian Channel (the one that carries the 700 Club).  Okay,
someone's asleep at the wheel there.

I just got home from the taping of Michael Moore's new show, "The Awful
Truth."  It wasn't one show we taped.  It wasn't three shows we taped.  All
together, I think we taped four, out of a total run of twelve.  WHat made it
interesting was that this was the third weekend he'd been doing this, and he
basically needed to wrap crap up.  WHich meant shooting "closes" and
"intros" to various stuff he hadn't gotten around to in the previous two
weekends.  So me and my fellow lunatics watched as the scrim was pulled
aside, and we saw the wizards at work, taping several month's worth of shows
in a single hour.  Very strange indeed.

So why am I bringing this up to y'all?  I really don't know.  Maybe it's
because Moore's a god and a half, a real working class hero, and he has the
right amount of ironic asides to deadly serious topics that makes a game
like UA so much fun to play.  I mean, what other "newsmagazine" would give
you:

Voicebox christmas carolers (people who've lost their vocal cords to cancer,
and have to rely on electronic synthesizers to speak), going to Phillip
Morris Headquarters, and trying to bring a little christmas cheer.

Moore making the realization -- hey, maybe it's not Montana that's driving
people crazy, but rather living in a one room shack!  His crusade?  DESTROY
THE SHACKS!

Thomas Jefferson showing up to the Ken Starr testimony, talking about how
small potatoes Clinton is.

Moore offering to teach the Pakistani and Indian governments, the new
members of the nuclear club, the wonders of ducking and covering.

A portable witch-hunt, with real live Puritan accusers running about the
halls of congress, screaming FORNICATORS! at various congressmen, and
collapsing on the ground twitching when challenged.

FInally...my favorite.  The Sodomobile.  Yes, it's pretty much what it
sounds like, including the five foot "Buggery on Board" sign.

It airs Sunday nights, 8 pm on the Bravo channel, starting Mid-April, and
it's pretty damn funny.

Oh, and they hire a legbreaker as a collection agent, who gets AT&T to pay
back a $.54 overcharge on one staff member's phone bill, and will be flying
to BMW, to make the company pay up.  Seems they used some slave labor during
WWII, and never got around to paying, and the survivors want their
paychecks.

Damn, it's just so weird.  Watch it.