[UA] [UA][OT]Fw: The Tandem Story (http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Hall/2239/humor/college/

[gareth hanrahan]

While we're on the topic...let's go off the topic :-)
Gar
"You thought that you were the bomb
Yes well so did I" - Tori Amos, Spark


>>>The Tandem Story
>>>
>>>
>>>------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------
>>>
>>>
>>>An assignment actually turned in by two English students:
>>>
>>>Rebecca <last name deleted> and Gary <last name deleted> English
44A
>>>Creative Writing
>>>Prof Miller
>>>
>>>
>>>------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------
>>>In-class Assignment for Wednesday
>>>
>>>Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The
>>process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
sitting to
>>his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first
>>paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first
paragraph
>>and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will
then
>>add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread
>what
>>has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The
>>story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------
>>>- the resulting untitled story -
>>>
>>>At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
>>camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now
>>reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that he
>>liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
mind
>>off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
about
>>him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was
out of
>>the question.
>>>
>>>Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron
>>now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think
about
>>than the neuroses of an air-headed bimbo named Laurie with whom he
had
>>spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation
17,"
>>he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit
established.
>>No sign of resistance so far ..." But before he could sign off a
bluish
>>particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
>>ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out
of
>>his seat and across the cockpit.
>>>
>>>He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
felt
>>one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman
who
>>had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
>>pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
>>"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel."
>>Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
>>excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of
her
>>youth ... when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with
no
>>newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
>>innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must
one
>>lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
>>>
>>>Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live.
>>Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched
>>the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
>peaceniks
>>who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through
Congress
>>had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires
who
>>were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
the
>>passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
Earth,
>>carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no
one
>to
>>stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
>>fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in
his
>>top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
>>coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which
vaporized
>>Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his
fist
>on
>>the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that
>>treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"
>>>
>>>This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
My
>>writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate
adolescent.
>>>
>>>Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
at
>>writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
>>>
>>>You total asshole.
>>>
>>>Stupid shit.




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