[UA] Craigslist is a great place to find ritual participants

[Daniel Solis]

http://filtersweep.shackspace.com/58988662.html

The classified ad is as follows:

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Very Complicated Request, Please Kindly Read!!! - m4mw - 35
Reply to: anon-58988662 at craigslist.org
Date: 2005-02-08, 8:53PM PST


If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this, I need your complete and sober attention, for
my request is uniquely detailed. I am a man, 35, white, black hair with brown eyes. Okay, first
what I am looking for is a woman primary, but secondary it could be a woman and her man, but the
man will have to remain behind the black curtain and only watch through the cut out eyeholes. The
black curtain is inside the apartment that I reside in. This apartment is a fashionable studio in
the hot part of town, and all my neighbors are graphic artists. So now please kindly listen to my
request: what I require foremost in a woman with bushy eyebrows. And they must be TWO eyebrows,
because one eyebrow is an abonination against Gaia. What I want is for the woman to become naked
and pose herself before me. I have a carpeted pedestal so her feet will not grow cold. I will
present her with a very well preserved Mesopotamian bowl. She will hold it and she must be careful
not to drop it as it has to be back at the museum by 8am tomorrow (I am a worker there). Next I
will hand her tweezers. Then she will pluck her eyebrows until her forehead is vacant. The
eyebrows will drift into the bowl and then I will take the bowl from her and go to my kitchenette.
I will then toss a salad into the bowl and mix the eyebrows in it. The woman can decide the
dressing, but I have only vinegrette and thousand island. Next I will re-present the bowl to the
woman, along with a utensil, and she will then consume the salad while I watch. I may masturbate
during this part of the exercise. However, if there is a man behind the black curtain he may not
masturbate, and I will know if does because I will hear him. However, he is allowed to fantasize,
and then he write an essay on his fantasies before I release him. After the woman is finished with
her salad, I will present her with a Qing dynasty teapot box, which she will open and deficate in.
She must be careful with the box as well as it is also from the mueseum and it must be returned or
there will be trouble. When she is finished she will return it to me, and I then I will bid her
good-evening. That is all. Please send a photo, eyebrows only. I WILL NOT respond to any photos
that include anything but eyebrows.

Please, serious inquiries ONLY. THIS IS NOT JOKE. So do not make funny replies to it. I have no
patience for impertinence. Good day. 

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Now that's one hell of a ritual.



 
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