[UA] And Your Horoscope is...

[Edward Parsons]

http://www.theonion.com/horoscopes/index.php?issue=4018

I love The Onion. I especially love their Horoscopes- two sentence snippets
of absolute insanity. This weeks are especailly choice (though they've yet
to top that one about the Basque Seperatists who stole the Turin Shroud)...

Number one for occulty-kookiness

 Scorpio: (Oct. 24-Nov. 21)
Next week will serve as a good example of what happens to people who listen
to old wives' tales, especially the ones whose old husbands are high-ranking
Masonic elders.

The best one for a truly creepy situation, though, comes from my very own
star sign...

 Aquarius: (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
You've always considered yourself to be good with children, making it quite
a surprise when they all decide to hunt you down.


And possibly the best for an obsessive House of Renounciation Agent...

 Leo: (July 23-Aug. 22)
You've heard that no two snowflakes are alike, and you're pretty certain
that this indicates an ethical failing on their part

Hell, look at them all - nearly any one of them would be ideal one shot
fodder....

Yrs Sincerely
Edward Parsons

"We took out our heavy revolvers (all of a sudden there were revolvers in
the dream) and joyfully killed the Gods."
- "Ragnarok" Jorge Luis Borges