[UA] Your Mayonnaise May Vibrate

[Greg Stolze]

In the spirit of the eternal value add... what WOULD be a UA meaning for
YMMV be?

* Your Military May Venerate -- a cult of idol worshippers within the USMC
who have discovered that if they pray to GI Joe, and carry one with them
into combat -- an old 12 incher, not the more recent small ones -- it
actually seems to PROTECT THEM.  But now one sergeant has started hearing
his Joe talk to him, late at night, in his bunk.  So far, it's been giving
him really solid advice...

* Yeti Masticates Muscular Virgins -- a gruesome tale set in the Swiss Alps
in which a huge, white, furry figure has attacked and badly bitten several
biathalon competitors.  But they're oddly reticent with investigators...
possibly for fear of having their steroid abuse uncovered.  Is it really
the Abominable Snowman?  And if so, why does he have a taste for the
sexually timid and/or 'roid abusers?

* Your Milk May Violate -- what gives with the people drinking what seems
to be simple 2% milk and then having freaky hallucinations where gruesome
old women hold them down and stick things in their bottoms while they can't
catch their breath?  That tall, burly guy who tries to clobber any
investigator with a crowbar -- cultist to an evil spirit, or just a farmer
who doesn't want anyone to find out his milk is tainted?

* Your Mother Masters Videogames -- Huh?  Suddenly MOM is spending ten
hours a day playing networked Quake?  Leading a friggin' PK clan?!?
Maaaaaahm?!?

-G.

Mommy?