[UA] Re: Birthday Suits - critique

[Chris Cooper]

--- Mattias Östklint <mattias.ostklint at husqvarna.se>
wrote:
> 
> 
> 
> That would be cool! While you're at it, see about
> clearing up the shifts
> for the ritual, especially: "ritualist donates blood
> to himself +40%". Is
> that if it's his own corpse he's tending? Or just
> his own skin? (freaky
> either way:-)

The Ritualist is donating the blood to himself in a
magical feedback loop.

No one has commented that the skin still is a proxy of
the caster.
 
> And about soulsucking again: if you push it away,
> does the suckage stop? 

Yes. Of course if the Birthday Suit is a little hungry
it might not want to stop.
> 
> Dammn, I'm good at finding flaws in other peoples
> writing!-)

Yeah, but that's the easiest part of editing. Now
fixing those mistakes so the reader can understand
what the writer has written. Ah, that's tricky.

Cheers,

Chris.

=====
The little bird that is the song in my heart
is too tired to be carried
by its battered wings.

It falls, crashes...
... and is still in its bone cage...

Dead Inside from Atomic Sock Monkey press.


                                      www.atomicsockmonkey.com

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