[UA] It's been a while + a short bit of fic (or a really long rumor, if you prefer)

[Daniel Butler]

fuck, that was pretty long and really dull, good work.


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mike V." <yagathai at dandy.net>
To: <ua at lists.unknown-armies.com>
Sent: Friday, July 30, 2004 10:45 PM
Subject: [UA] It's been a while + a short bit of fic (or a really long
rumor,if you prefer)


> Well, it's been about four years since I last posted to this list.  Hi
> everyone!  I banged this out on my lunch break today.  It seemed rather
> UA-ish, so I figured I'd post it here.  Comments are welcome.
>
>
> Hiya, snowflake.  What's n-... Jesus christ!  Are you OK?  Do
> you have to go to the hospital?  Good.  Yeah, they don't ask many
> questions at the clinic.  Are you gonna be OK?
>
> Oh.  Marco, huh?  That bastard's gonna kill you one of these
> days.
>
> Sure he does, cupcake.  That's why it hurts when you breathe.
> Those are cracked ribs of love.  Listen, do you have a place to crash
> tonight?  Someplace where Marco isn't?  Because my buddies and I, we got
> a squat down on Monroe.  Yeah?  OK, well if you think you can hold down
> some soup, I'll buy you dinner and then we can head over.
>
> No, keep it.  I've been there too many times myself.  You're
> gonna need that cash to... well, we'll talk about it later.
>
> You're gonna have to do something about Marco, you know that?
> He's just gonna get drunker and meaner until one of these days he's
> gonna hit you too hard or set you up with a john that ain't gonna stop
> no matter how loud you cry and... uh huh.  He's done it before.  And
> when you're gone he'll just find himself another runaway and it'll start
> all over again.
>
> You could just leave, you know.  Scrape together bus fare and...
> no, I didn't think so.  Besides, what if there's another Marco waiting
> for you at the other end?
>
> Look, if you're not going to leave then he's gonna kill you
> eventually.  Here, swallow this.  You'll feel better.
>
> What?  Don't even think about it.  Someone like us wouldn't
> stand a chance.  I know he's gotta sleep eventually, but what if you
> miss?  Besides, do you think you could really pull the trigger?  Because
> Marco, he wouldn't hesitate for a second, and if you did... that's all
> she wrote.
>
> No, no.  Forget it.  And even if you pull it off, what then?
> Even juvie time is hard time.  Look, there's another way.  This may
> sound crazy, but I got three words for you:  Samurai movie marathon.
>
> Shut up and let me explain.  Let's say that you put the word out
> that you were throwing a party, and you told people that at the party
> you were gonna be showing old-school samurai flicks all night long,
> until the sun rises.  Like we're talking Lone Wolf and Lady Snowblood
> and old Kurosawa shit here.  You'd have to get your hands on a TV and a
> bunch of movies.  And then let's say that at the party you had enough
> food to feed everyone who came.  All the food they wanted.  I hear sushi
> is best, but really anything is fine.  Pizza even.  But no olives.  You
> can't have a single olive in the place.
>
> How should I know?  Maybe he's allergic.
>
> I'm getting to that.  Anyway, you throw this party, right?  And
> you gotta follow certain rules.  The olive thing.  No drugs or booze
> anywhere on the premises.  Not even weed.  Cigarettes are OK, though.
> No dogs or pictures of dogs anywhere, either.  The TV has got to face
> the wall opposite to the door of the room you're in.  But if you have
> the party and follow all the rules, and you're lucky, he'll show up.
>
> I don't know.  Nobody does.  He just looks like some skater kid.
> Our age.  Cargos.  Messenger bag.  Hoodie.  And these crazy old-school
> shades. Anyway, he'll show up sometime after midnight in front of the TV
> to watch the movies.  You'll know it's him as soon as you see him.
>
> No, you just know.  He's just got this weird vibe. It's like...
> you ever had a trick goin' at you, and you look up at their face and you
> can see that they're... not there?  Like whatever planet they're on
> isn't here, and whatever they're doing in their head isn't you and you
> hope to god that you never find out what it is they're dreaming that you
> are?  This kid's like that, but all the time.  And it's not... sexual,
> y'know?  It's just creepy.
>
> Anyway he'll watch the movies until sunrise, and you gotta stay
> up with him the whole time.  If you fall asleep or whatever, he's gone
> when you wake up.  He won't say much, but maybe he'll talk about the
> movies with you.  He knows a lot about them, too.  And then at sunrise,
> when the movies stop, you tell him three things:  A name, like Marco.  A
> place, like the shooting gallery he hangs out at on weekends.  And a
> reason, like Marco's your pimp and he almost beat you to death.  And
> then you pay him.
>
> It's OK.  He doesn't want a lot.  Just whatever you can spare.
> And sometimes, if you don't have enough, he'll take stuff in trade.
> Like a couple cartons of smokes or a new skateboard or something.
>
> Yeah.  I guess he's not in it for the money.  He won't do just
> anyone, either.  Just pimps and pushers.  I guess he's got a chip on his
> shoulder or something.  Anyway, he'll ask you a few questions.  They're
> always the same every time too.  Like how many fingers does Marco have?
> Does he speak with an accent?  Does he own a big dog?  What was the last
> book he read?  Weird shit like that.
>
> I don't know, and I don't care.  After you answer his questions,
> he just gets up and leaves, but inside of a couple of days your Marco
> problem is gone.
>
> No, not exactly.  They'll probably find him in a few days.  Or
> most of him, anyway.  You remember that Joe Bogone thing from last Fall,
> or was that before your time?  They found him sittin' headless in a
> port-a-john down by the river.  And earlier that year some out-of-town
> crank dealer got his guts spread all over that alley behind Johansen's.
> I hear the wino that found him said that someone had pinned one end of
> his intestines in place to a wall or something and it looks like he ran
> for like thirty f...
>
> Oh.  Sorry.  Anyway, I'm not saying that you have to look this
> guy up to take care of Marco or anything, but if you don't...
>
> What, the movies?  Yeah.  I kept a stack of them, just in case I
> ever needed to use them again.  Should I start setting things up?
>
> Good.
>
>
>
> - Mike V.
>
>
>
>
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