[UA] Keeping the Tiger Quiet

[Graham Donald]

While looking at the April issue of "Saucer Smear", I found the following 
and thought this might make an interesting plot, perhaps with a Sleeper team 
being sent in to convince people that some magic event never happened.

Graham

>From the April Issue of "Saucer Smear" magazine

(http://www.martiansgohome.com/smear/v49/ss020401.htm)

French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince Taliban of 
Non-Existence of God.

The ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed 
plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers into 
the country to destroy the morale of Taliban zealots by proving the 
non-existence of God. Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 
'Black Berets', will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, 
espondency and existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous 
intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left 
Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of pavement cafes at 
strategic points near the front lines. There they will drink coffee and talk 
animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the 
universe.

Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence 
in the success of their mission. Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned 
thesis on man's nauseating freedom of action with special reference to the 
work of Foucault and the films of Alfred Hitchcock. However, humanitarian 
agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out 
that the effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmens' endless Gitanes 
could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.

Speculation was mounting last night that Britain may also contribute to the 
effort by dropping Professor Stephen Hawking into Afghanistan to propagate 
his non-deistic theory of the creation of the universe. This is only one of 
several Psy-Ops operations mounted by the Allies to undermine the unswerving 
religious fanaticism that fuels the Taliban's fighting spirit.

Pentagon sources have recently confirmed rumours that America has already 
sent in a 200-foot-tall robot Jesus, which roams the Taliban front lines 
glowing eerily and shooting flames out of its fingers while saying, 'I am 
the way, the truth, and the life. Follow me or die!"



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