[UA] Explosions & Tits

[Chad Underkoffler]

> From: "Tom Lynch" <kal.jerico at lineone.net>
> Date: Fri, 26 Apr 2002 16:35:50 +0100
>
> > I preferred the first album, back in '85. The experimental
> > dulcimer-and-lute covers of old Sex Pistols tracks, with 
> > the fully instrumental piece in the middle? The Jew's harp 
> > was particularly good, with John Norton. 

Yeah, I really liked that sound, but Sweaty Bob claimed that if
he had to play it again, he'd shove an icepick in Betty
Rigatoni's ear. Betty had the only van, and the the rest was
history.

> Date: Fri, 26 Apr 2002 10:14:27 -0700 (PDT)
> From: Royal Minister of Stuff <yokeltania at yahoo.com>
>
> > What the hell happened to him? I remember reading something
> > about suicide, but that can't have been true, right?
> 
> The cops reported it as suicide, but I know it wasn't
> true.  Cassidy Toles was in the room that night and,
> even though I was well on my way to passing out from
> the purple stuff in the obese Mitchner sisters' bong,
> I swear I heard a shot.

I can neither confirm nor deny Toles' presence. At the time, I
was questioning Thai rent boys about who had stolen Thin
Bernard's teddy bear. Don't ask -- it's a story for another day.
But rest assured, I did recover the teddy bear stuffed full of
the sweet, sweet treasure that Bernard had hidden there. When I
got back to my hotel room, I got a call from Tynes who told me
Norton had eaten the barrel of a Saturday Night Special.

What does one do in that situation, I ask you? Right -- a bucket
of Kentucky Fried Yak.




=====
Chad Underkoffler [chadu at yahoo.com]
http://www.geocities.com/chadu/index.html
"Now that is the kind of puddin' that only two-hundred forty dollars can buy."
  -- Barry, $240 Worth of Pudding, THE STATE

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