[UA] Become a Minister!!

[Timothy Ferguson]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: ua-admin at lists.uchicago.edu [mailto:ua-admin at lists.uchicago.edu]On
> Behalf Of Tyrant

> MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!

I don't want to marry my brother, I have no sister (and wouldn't want to
marry her anyway) and my best friend is a 20 year old model who practices
yoga, sure, but I doubt she'd want to marry me.

> Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
> Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU)
> with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.
>
> FUNERALS
> A very hard time for you and your family
> Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!

Oh, crickey...I was going to be a minister and it was the thought of burying
my grandma that put me off...


> Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU)
> with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.
>
> BAPTISMS
> You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
> What a special way to welcome a child of God.

Anyone can baptise in basic Catholic theology anyway...I've done it myself,
but only to an unwilling participant.  He said he was a Satanist, we were at
school camp together, so while he was in the pool I said the rite of baptism
over him.  My school chaplain was good enough to confirm that it was a valid
baptism, despite my not being Catholic.  Some of my teachers were slightly
weirder by it, because the Satanic guy went to the school counsellor and I
was asked not to proselytise, but I was let off on the grounds that I wasn't
Catholic.  I was then just told not to practice spiritual warfare on other
students, which was a fair cop.


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