[UA] Naked Goddess Sighting

[Timothy Toner]

----- Original Message -----
From: <holycrow at mindspring.com>
To: <ua at lists.uchicago.edu>
Sent: Thursday, May 10, 2001 2:32 PM
Subject: [UA] Naked Goddess Sighting


> She's weird because she's so ordinary.  Does that make even a lick of
sense?

Kinda.  I'm still trying to wrap my brain around HER.  Why her?  What
happened on that day to push her over the edge?  It would somehow make more
sense if those who thought of her as TWECHBY were watching the taping.  That
way, whatever it is that happened hit some sort of critical mass, and she
ascended, with the good fortune of doing so as a camera was rolling (and
thus it was less the camera taping her, and more something happening
extraneous to the manufacture of pornography, something the CotNG might not
twig on).  I'm thinking that she's some kind of "girl next door" type.
Pretty, in a wholesome way.  Looks like she could tart herself up, too, if
need be.  She had a parallel career, as a few porn actresses (though not
starlets) do, making commericals.  She appears in one ubiquitous ad, like
the 'noxema girl'. where she gets to soak into the public's subconscious
mind, and then it's pulled without notice when her 'shady' side becomes
known.  No one really remembers it all that well (like the little kid
fishing in the Oscar Mayer baloney commercial (of which I received two
call-backs for)) but no one can forget it.  So you have two things running
simultaneously.  There's the whole porn subtext of regular looking guys
banging hot chicks, ready to service you if you just knew where to find
them.  Then there's this deeply buried recognition of this girl, currently
rimming some guy, as someone who once registered in your brain as wholesome
and untouchable.  You didn't know that the girl was capable of doing such
NASTY things!  It's all the girls in your life, but it's this girl in
particular.  And to push it over the edge, she has an Unrequited Lover (soon
to ascend as The Stalker) who works in the studio.  The two get along well
enough, and she's even warming up to him (or so he thinks).  He tries to
befriend the other guys, to learn more about her, and one of the actors
picks up on this, gets him drunk one night, and makes him spill the beans.
The Unrequited Lover even shares his fantasies, particularly those words
he's practiced saying each night to her as he fondles himself.  And then, on
that day, as he's ready to speak to her after this scene, the bastard slips
her the lines.  They come across as cheap and tawdry, and the NG takes on an
enigmatic expression that simultaneously suggests revulsion and devotion.
The Unrequited Lover realizes, as everyone viewing that moment does, that
such an expression comes across once in a lifetime, and never again.  They
will never see that expression, especially from one such as her.  They want
her, but the moment is gone.

And then so is she.

The only one who really remembers her is The Unrequited Lover, who has
descended into hellish madness, while at the same time rising to the head of
a hollywood studio.  He goes through a thousand headshots a day, and has
paid for plastic surgery for twenty hopefuls, always trying to recreate her,
and always failing.  Most of these experiments are terminated before they
can see the light of day, but a few manage to wander off, and create no
small amount of confusion as they serve you coffee in a Stuckey's just
outside of South Bend, IN.


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