[UA] The Caveman's Valentine

[Kevin Elmore]

Along the UA movie trend, I have to put in my two cents for
The Caveman's Valentine.  Here is a copy of a review I
posted elsewhere (UA stuff to follow):

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Finally, I have to give a movie review on The Caveman's
Valentine.  You probably haven't heard of it.  It was sheer
luck that I found this and decided to see it.  Actually,
very few movies nowadays have appeal to me right now since
Memento isn't even out in Kansas City yet *grumble*  So
until then, I can only placate myself with artsy movies. 
What defines an artsy movie?  Well, seeing Ewan McGregor or
Samuel L. Jackson naked is a good definition.

Actually, now that I think of it, the story of The
Caveman's Valentine is a bit weak.  The events that
transpire rely upon things happening correctly.  Any
misstep by any of the players of the game, and your plot
fails.  Of course, for every 20 poorly orchestrated plots,
there is one that works, and this story is one such plot. 
Also, there are really only two characters you can feel
drawn to.  I realize that now.  But those two characters
are pretty riveting.  Samuel L. Jackson plays a crazy
genius homeless guy who can compose music on the fly but
can't keep a job because of the simple fact that some
unseen nemesis sits in his mighty tower fortress
overlooking New York and broadcasts Y-rays while sending
faceless minions to harass and damage him.  What a wuss! 
He can't work under that kind of pressure?  

So instead of living in a house with a wife and kid while
composing music, he lives alone in a cave in Central Park
while composing music for his moth seraph friends that
flutter in his head.  Yep, a much better life.  On
Valentine's Day, he finds a dead guy outside his cave. 
Obviously, this was a present left by the unseen nemesis to
frighten the Caveman.  Daunted he is not!  He sets forth to
prove the police wrong and show that the man was murdered. 
Of course, the biggest problem is that the Caveman is
crazy, and you get to see what he sees.  So now you get to
see his enemies, which are numerous.

Not the greatest of movies, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. 
Samuel L. Jackson ranks up there with Kevin Spacey who also
shows up naked in artsy movies.  Either one of them could
read from a phone book, and I'd pay $10 to watch him, more
if he twitches or whines about his pathetic life.  Go see
it.  It's one of those movies that no one watches, so it'll
be out of the theatres soon, I'm sure.

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UA notes:  Well, the crazy homeless guy as a protagonist is
just perfect for UA.  IMUAC, one of the PCs was a homeless
Haitian Voudon practitioner who was a bit wacky herself. 
So I really got into the crazy homeless guy bit.  

But the character is not just some stereotypical crazy.  He
is a genius whose perceptions are screwed.  He also
maintains a relationship with his daughter, so you can
really see a three-dimensional character there (even if he
might steal a dimension or two from other characters).

Now, the artist is a definitely UA character.  This guy
photographs pain and suffering.  He really has a huge motif
of angels skewered on hook or bleeding from severed wings
thanks to some clever make-up on his subjects.  There is a
party where he is fawned over by his admirers.  That is
stuff you can find in any UA group.

As I said before, this movie is above average but not
extraordinary.  From a UA standpoint, I think this is
excellent material.

Kevin






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Beavis & Butthead do not cause fires; stupid people do.  Role-playing games do not cause mass cultish suicides; stupid people do.  Homosexuality does not lead to societal and moral decay; stupid people do.  God does not condemn or place false blame on these things; stupid people do.
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