[UA] Unbreakable (Non-Spoilers with mild Analysis)

[Timothy Toner]

----- Original Message -----
From: "John Tynes" <john at tynes.com>
To: "UA Mailing List" <ua at lists.uchicago.edu>
Sent: Tuesday, November 28, 2000 12:40 AM
Subject: Re: [UA] Unbreakable (Non-Spoilers with mild Analysis)


> >As Mel Brooks said, "If it bends, it's comedy.  If it breaks, it's
tragedy."
>
> That's weird. I could've sworn that was Alan Alda in Woody Allen's CRIMES
> AND MISDEMEANORS, portraying the jerkwad director.

Yeah, it was.  I was reading an essay about Jewish humor and the Holocaust,
and it all became conflated.  To make up for it, let me proffer this.  It's
a tad blue, but it's just the sort of skewed thinking that makes the GMCs
the players will run up against seem positively vivid:

>From http://www.opi8.com/badworld_081500.shtml

Because Jesus was a woman. According to the "philosophy" of Chrestianity,
"Here is the Good News: God is Our Mother. Here is the Good News: Jesus
Christ was a Womun. Here is the Good News: all men go to Hell."

The Chrestian documents contort themselves to eliminate any sense of
maleness even from the spelling: womhn, femayle, womun, mhnstruation, humun.
"The idea that Jesus was male is literal, laughable nonsense: not only does
true thealogy reject it, so does true biology." It turns on an interesting
fact: "It is possible for a virgin femayle humun-being to give birth: it is
impossible for a virgin femayle humun-being to give birth to anything but
another femayle. This is a truth that God has planted everywhere in Her
Creation, leaving messages that only wilful male blindness can misread.
There is a species of desert lizard that reproduces wholly by
parthenogenesis - virgin-birth - and that is wholly femayle: no male
specimen has ever been found. The Virgin Mary carried only the femayle XX
chromosomes, and could pass them to Her offspring only as XX: Jesus can only
have been femayle: Jesus Christ was a Womun. "

But this is a bad world, and a fascinating notion quickly becomes all too
revelatory of the writer: "The three wise men were in reality three wise
womhn - three witches bearing gifts symbolic of the Chrest-child's
matriarchal moon-power and lesbian sexuality. That this sexuality was in
fact lesbian, and exclusively so, is proved by a "spice-girl" episode in
Jesa's adult life. "Mark" tells us that one day: xiv, 3. ... as he sat at
meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard
very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head. This is an
allegory of fricative lesbian sex: the "alabaster box" is the genitals of
the womun; its "breaking" is their dilation under the influence of sexual
excitement; the "spikenard" is the scented secretions that pour from them;
and the "head" of "Jesus" is in fact the clitoris of Jesa, on which the
womun rubs her dilated, lubricated vulva.."

You know, I'm as educated in parsing the culture as any other writer in the
Western world, and I still think this is a bit of a stretch. "Many womhn are
left-handed because of unnatural brain-damage arising from direct male or
male-inspired violence meted out to them in their infancy and childhood" is
also pushing it, I feel, but it gets better:

"The 'Jews' were in reality the men of Chrest's day, demanding Her
ritualized rape-murder during Her trial for blasphemy against patriarchal
orthodoxy. The threat posed by Her message of liberation for Womunkind had
finally become too great when She instituted the drinking of mhnstrual blood
at the Last Supper. Males overcome their vagina-envy by attacking the vagina
with their penises, penetrating it and injecting it with the
mhnses-suppressing poison of semen.. She is gang-raped by the brutal agents
of patriarchy in the person of Roman soldiers, whose penises are the
"crucifix" on which Chrest is racked. The "temple" is the creative internal
space of the vagina that the erect penis must invade and fill after breaking
the protective hymhn, imposing a deadening masculine stasis on a life-giving
feminine flux.The crucifixion is in fact the first snuff-narrative in
history, a description of the rape and murder of the first femayle
snuff-victim."



Wow.  Just...Wow.


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