[UA] D&D Movie Humor (Completely Off Topic, but No Spoilers)

[Eric Baker]

Since I got this from someone else, I assume it is going around the net. 
Still, it is too good not to share.  Sorry to waste the band width for those
who've already seen it.


Someone already posted the rules Jeremy Iron breaks as the evil overlord.
Watch for any that are not here.

"My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not
face-concealing ones." (#1)

"Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal
laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments
that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly." (#20)

"I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses.
Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will
never utter the line 'No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!' (After that,
death is usually instantaneous.)" (#24)

"If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I
will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out
to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper."
(#49)

"If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them
for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again." (#88)

"If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor
their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore
them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will
and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except
during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives
at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order
their execution." (#98)

"I will not engage an enemy single-handedly until all my soldiers are
dead." (#115)

"Prior to kidnapping an older male scientist and forcing him to work for
me, I will investigate his offspring and make sure that he has neither a
beautiful but naive daughter who is willing to risk anything to get him
back, nor an estranged son who works in the same field but had a
falling-out with his father many years ago." (#124)

"I will provide funding and research to develop tactical and strategic
weapons covering a full range of needs so my choices are not limited to
'hand to hand combat with swords' and 'blow up the planet.'" (#150)







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