[UA] (Humor) Pain: A Review (was Re: [UA] Perception of damage)

Tue Apr 18 20:39:41 PDT 2000

    Well, the guys who used to make Mystery Science Theater 3000 are now
running a website, www.TimmyBigHands.com, and there's a review section.  In
addition to their keen, insightful reviews of the horse, the Statue of
Liberty, and buttocks, there's a review of pain.  I've reproduced it here
just because.

--------------------------------------
Pain:A review

Pain has acquired a lousy reputation. A lot of people put it down. "Oww! It
huuurts!’ is the most insightful comment you’ll hear when the average person
experiences it, betraying a simplistic attitude that ignores pain’s very
real qualities, and the satisfactions it can deliver when used correctly.
In fact, the word-of-mouth has really been building, an ugly sort of "piling
on" that led me to explore pain, just a bit, to see if there’s anything
worthwhile here. Why is pain the least favorite of all our sensations? Why
does nearly everyone prefer - strongly prefer - the feel of soft fluffy
mittens, or a maiden’s creamy white thigh?

When pressed, most users of pain (and that still includes almost everyone;
for some reason pain has lost very little market share) will agree that it
still fulfills its basic function of warning us of injury. I reexamined its
performance in that regard especially, and came away convinced that pain
does work, but has itself to blame for its current low regard.

First, I held my fingertip in the flame of a burning candle for about ten
seconds, and came away with a horrible burn, one that’s oozing pus as I
write. The pain was something - and perfectly appropriate. Then, after using
an ax to hack off a portion of my right foot, the pain was so overwhelming
that I nearly fainted, and my screams I’m sure were disquieting to the
neighbors. But boy, I can’t complain. I was losing a lot of blood, and pain
rose to the occasion.

However. When I drew a sheet of thick typing paper over a fleshy part of my
left hand, right down there in between the bases of the little and ring
fingers, and was rewarded with an exquisite, jagged little cut about a
half-inch in length, I thought the sharp, almost crystalline pain was a bit
much. It hurt. It hurt like hell. And the cut, really, was nothing.

Then, when I jammed my little toe into the hassock, the pain was absurd! I
mean, I was hopping around the room, massaging my toe, crying, shrieking,
all the while thinking, pain, give me a break. I stubbed my toe. What is
with this pain? Why the apparent horror at a simple toe-stubbing?

Finally, I threw myself in front of an onrushing freight train, and pain won
me back. At the moment of impact, when I would have expected just a heck of
a lot of pain, instead pain withdrew into the background and allowed calm
acceptance to take over. In fact, since that time, I have felt no pain
whatsoever.

The verdict? Pain is complicated. It’s probably an acquired fondness. But
for those whose tastes run to pain, pain is the real thing
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

    This is all undoubtedly copyright 2000 by TimmyBigHands.  Don't spread
around that you got it from me.

Kevin Mowery________________profbobo at io.com
"'Jaws' is the warmest, tenderest, lovingest movie of
the year.  I give it four coconuts."               --Idi Amin
-----Original Message-----
From: Doug Stalker <dougs at technologist.com>
To: ua at lists.uchicago.edu <ua at lists.uchicago.edu>
Date: Tuesday, April 18, 2000 9:20 PM
Subject: Re: [UA] Perception of damage

>
>
>Kevin Elmore wrote:
>
>> Your stories make me feel good about a decision I made in
>> my campaign.
>>
>> Two PCs had a bit of a fight.
>
><snip>
>
>> He rolled an 11.  The secret player knew that he
>> wasn't hurt before, so he wasn't worried about losing 1/5
>> his wound points.  He insisted that he could continue
>> running.
>>
>> I diplomatically handled the situation by saying that the
>> FBI player made a special effort to shoot at the leg and
>> rolled a matched success.
>
>I think it's also important to look at the kind of damage and the location
with this sort of thing.  After reading through people descriptions of
injuries a small, sudden trauma can easily bring someone down for a while.
An 11 point gunshout to the leg should be more immediatly
>debilitating than taking 30 points of punching damage in HtH combat, even
if it can be recovered from more easily.  Especially when you consider HtH
damge is far more distrubuted than a gunshot.
>
>
>>
>> So, unless you have players who are able to roleplay
>> everything, you may want to roll the dice for any PC vs PC
>> altercation.
>
>I hate PC vs Pc fights.  In my experience, they always seem to stem from
player conflicts rather than player conflicts.  Most that I have seen have
involved one person in particular.
>
>>
>> A good roleplayer would drop his weapons when an AD&D
>> crossbow is pointed at him.
>
>It gets even sillier in paladium, where you can often put a .357 magnum to
your head and pull the trigger and there is no chance for you to die. I
won't even mention Rifts.
>
>
>>
>>
>> Kevin Elmore
>>
>> =====
>
>--
>_____________________________________________________________
>  Network Operations Engineer - Big Pond Advance Satellite
> Ericsson Australia - Level 5, 184 The Broadway, Sydney 2000
>  Ph: +61-416-085-390   Email: doug at satellite.bigpond.com
>
>
>
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>

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