[UA] Eyre-omancy

[stuartanderson at uswest.net]

Someone, quite a while ago, was asking about the school of
magick founded by the Bronte sisters. I consulted IMUAC, the
single celled telepathic alien who lives in my left
testicle, and who in turn consulted the galactic database,
and this is what I learned:

Eyre-omancy
"You may desire, but not acquire."
Taboo: the adept must never, under any circumstances,
approach a need or desire with a simple, logical, task
analyzed series of direct steps. Even the simplest and most
basic of needs requires an enormous, mental Rube Goldberg
construct of bizarre, tortuous steps and labyrinthine
motives and repressed desires, culminating in truly
dangerous bursts of misdirected action.
Nickname: Cathys (or Heathcliffs--frequently confused w/
school of cartoon cats)
Generating a minor charge: Spend a period of time in doomed
pining for a dark and forbidding figure.
Generating a significant charge: Making a gesture of
affection toward the figure which could only elicit feelings
of mingled fear and revulsion.
Generating a major charge: Making a gesture of affection
toward the figure which results in the figure's ultimate
ruin--including, but not limited to death and/or
dismemberment.
Blast: Apoplectic fit. The target witnesses the Cathy's
decision or plan of action, becoming so confused and enraged
by the landslide of illogic that he or she collapses in a
seizure of indeterminate length. The Blast may be boosted up
to Hysterical Blindness, then further to Fatal Hemoragic
Aneurysm. (The Dickens-based literamancers had a lock on
spontaneous human combustion.)
Random Magick Domain: Eyre-omancers are about the crackling,
clingy static energy of self frustrated desire. They are
masters of attracting things or people and pushing them away
simultaneously. The net effects are perhaps less effective
than they are entertaining.
New Eyre-omancers have six starting charges, one for each of
the Bronte kids.

Formula Spells:
Wuthering Fights:
Cost: 1 minor charge
Effect: The target has a -17% shift on any action designed
to protect a dark, forbidding figure from the attentions of
a Cathy.

Now, Rochester:
Cost: 1 minor charge
Effect: The Cathy absolutely commands the attention of the
target. He may not run away or ignore her, even though he
may pretend to as he stares broodingly into a fire.
*Frequently confused with the Golden-Age-of-Radiomancer's
spell of the same name, wherein the target is persuaded to
do something against his better judgment for no good reason,
without getting lippy.

Gypsy Demon's Vow:
Agnes Grey Ray:
Halifax Hoodoo:
Passion From Beyond the Grave:

Before I could get further details, I was once again caught
in the Ultra-Low Frequency mind-control radar-waves
broadcast directly into my fillings by the fiendish George
Takai. IMUAC's quick thinking saved me. Curse you, George
Takai!
I hope this helps to answer your questions.
--Stu.


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